Lessons Learned

I have learned a heck of a lot over the past few months. I've been feeling as though "life" has been kicking me in the butt. However, now that I've had some time to reflect on all that I have gone through, a new perspective is beginning to form.

Going through the loss of a loved one causes one to experience a lot more than just grief. I spent the entire week with my mom helping to take care of all of the arrangements for my grandmother's funeral last week. Trying the grasp the fact that my grandmother is gone just feels impossible. But in addition to this, I had to deal with a lot of other emotions.

For example, I have always felt that my mother is more partial to my younger sister than she is to me. After I had been married for a few years, I mostly got over it and figured that maybe I was being silly to think this for so many years. But I realized last week that I still harbor some negative feelings. In the interest of being careful not to say too much here, I'll wrap up by pointing out that I have a lot of work to do on my end to finally do away with the negative feelings that are stored way in the depths of my heart. Feelings like this just don't come up sometimes unless something as extreme as death occurs. My family is in enough pain, and I don't want any feelings of resentment on my part to contribute any unnecessary pain or negativity.

I feel really good about 2008. I only have a couple of resolutions:

1) Get more rest
2) Spend more time with my children
3) Prepare better meals for myself and my kids
4) Love harder
5) No more false promises

This is enough for now.