Sunday, November 09, 2008

Lessons Learned

I don't mind sharing that I am 34 years old as of yesterday afternoon. I look DARN good for my age, and actually consider it bragging to reveal my age. I constantly hear "Wow, you're in your 30's?? Seriously??" I love it, so please keep it up for as long as it's true. :-) :-)

Well you don't live 34 years without making a lot of serious observations about this journey we call life. Here are a few things I have learned throughout my life; these are time-tested truths that I'd like to share with you.

It's fairly easy to tell whose really in your corner. The people that have your back no matter what are consistent. Consistency is key. You know those people that are all giggles and smiles and sharing deep, dark secrets when you're alone? Well, if these people behave differently toward you in the company of others, that's a serious red flag. To me, that screams "I like you for the most part as a person and think you're really nice and/or cool, but the other people that I'm closer to don't like you, or wouldn't approve of me being friends with you." And isn't this how we behaved in high school? Yeah, run like the wind from these people.

The number of friends you have is directly related to how you treat people. If you are nice to people and really care about them, at least 85% of them will return the feeling and behavior. It's simple math, yet some people still get confused by it. They wonder why they lack friends and even long for them. It's easy to wish for fruit during harvest time when we haven't sown any seeds seasons prior. But wishes like this are futile.

The world will move on without you. People can get over you if you give them enough time. If you are difficult to be around, then it's just not worth it, and people will soon learn to adjust to life without you. As painful as it is to cut ties with a friend, spouse, or other loved-one, if you're more trouble than you're worth, people will move on, and the earth will still rotate on its axis, somehow.

Your children will most likely turnout just like you... Not like you WANT to be or who you THINK you are, but who you actually are. So if you're the type of person that's slightly delusional about how you affect others, just watch your kids grow up. You will see your traits come out in them. Good and bad. It's cute, yet can be scary if you are unaware of who you are at this point in your life.

The world is full of followers. Even as adults, people are still waiting on someone else to tell them what to do and how to think. Most people seem to live in the moment and aren't grounded in a solid foundation. We are a superficial group of people, the human race. It's so easy to change someone's mind about something and send them in a different direction when something new comes along that's fresh and exciting.

The more you truly learn in this world, the more you are humbled about how much there is to learn. That's why the people who are really smart are the most patient. They know that there is a vast world out there that they do not know about and are eager to learn more and SHARE what they've learned with others. The people who have learned "just enough" to make them "appear" smarter than others are the ones who just sit comfortably on what they learned and spend much of their time ridiculing others who don't know as much. When someone comes along who knows just as much and even more, they fight to keep this person silenced or made to feel inferior. Happens everyday, unfortunately.

The more you truly learn in this world, the easier it is to distinguish between those who KNOW and those to TALK as if they know. When you are asking someone a question and they keep talking over you and don't give you a chance to even state your question clearly...RUN. Find someone who actually has enough knowledge to be of true assistance to you. This world is so full of people who have gotten where they are NOT because of what they know, but...(see next statement)

It's truly not about what you know in this world, rather, it's about WHO you know. Timeless truth. It's so sad, but SO TRUE. Anyone watch Real Housewives of Atlanta? No? Good, that show sucks, yet is heavily addictive for goodness sakes! The women on this show are living proof of this, if anyone is still confused about why their hard work hasn't reaped the benefits they feel are warranted. (Kim Zolciak, I'm looking at you)

You should ALWAYS be thinking ahead of where you are now. For the first time in my life, I understand what this means, and I have actually been living with this mindset. With a deeper understanding of this (and many of the aforementioned statements) I am very excited about where my life is headed! I'm not so focused on the here and now anymore, and I'm especially done trying to impress those directly in front of me. I've outgrown where I am in my life, like a pair of 3-year old pants that are out of season and have worn inseams. Time to move upward and onward which is the right direction! :-) :-) :-)

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3 Comments:

At 6:40 PM, Blogger Beth said...

My gorgeous, gorgeous friend.
First of all, your hotness is overwhelming. You look incredible for ANY age-- but you know what? You take care of yourself and choose to live a life of energy and balance. And it shows.
Your wisdom gives me peace and courage. I love you so much. I'm going to leave another comment with a poem that I love, as a belated birthday gift to you. You are wonderful.

 
At 6:43 PM, Blogger Beth said...

For Strong Women

by Marge Piercy

A strong woman is a woman who is straining
A strong woman is a woman standing
on tiptoe and lifting a barbell
while trying to sing "Boris Godunov."
A strong woman is a woman at work
cleaning out the cesspool of the ages,
and while she shovels, she talks about
how she doesn't mind crying, it opens
the ducts of the eyes, and throwing up
develops the stomach muscles, and
she goes on shoveling with tears in her nose.
A strong woman is a woman in whose head
a voice is repeating, I told you so,
ugly, bad girl, bitch, nag, shrill, witch,
ballbuster, nobody will ever love you back,
why aren't you feminine, why aren't
you soft, why aren't you quiet, why aren't you dead?
A strong woman is a woman determined
to do something others are determined
not be done. She is pushing up on the bottom
of a lead coffin lid. She is trying to raise
a manhole cover with her head, she is trying
to butt her way through a steel wall.
Her head hurts. People waiting for the hole
to be made say, hurry, you're so strong.
A strong woman is a woman bleeding
inside. A strong woman is a woman making
herself strong every morning while her teeth
loosen and her back throbs. Every baby,
a tooth, midwives used to say, and now
every battle a scar. A strong woman
is a mass of scar tissue that aches
when it rains and wounds that bleed
when you bump them and memories that get up
in the night and pace in boots to and fro.
A strong woman is a woman who craves love
like oxygen or she turns blue choking.
A strong woman is a woman who loves
strongly and weeps strongly and is strongly
terrified and has strong needs. A strong woman is strong
in words, in action, in connection, in feeling;
she is not strong as a stone but as a wolf
suckling her young. Strength is not in her, but she
enacts it as the wind fills a sail.
What comforts her is others loving
her equally for the strength and for the weakness
from which it issues, lightning from a cloud.
Lightning stuns. In rain, the clouds disperse.
Only water of connection remains,
flowing through us. Strong is what we make
each other. Until we are all strong together,
a strong woman is a woman strongly afraid.

 
At 8:44 PM, Blogger tamigill said...

Beth, I'm not exactly sure why the Lord gave me the good fortune of having you in my life...but I am humbled with thanks that He did. Thank you SO much for this message and this AMAZING poem. I felt overwhelmed with emotion while reading the words. Knowing that this poem came to your mind while thinking of me, well, words can't describe how that has affected me. I love you, Beth Staton. Now and always!!!!!!

 

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