Super/Fat Tuesday

Forgive the rambling...I've spent the last 5 hours listening to Super Tuesday elections results. It's got my head spinning. Also, Wednesday (which it technically is now, considering it's after midnight) begins the season of Lent. I need to think of something to sacrifice for 40 days (leading up to Easter Sunday).


It's time to kick it into gear. Period. For example, even though 2007 was better career-wise than 2006, it still wasn't even close to meeting the goals I had for myself. To be honest, I never actually set realistic, concrete goals in 2007. I just knew that I wanted to "be better" than I was the year before. I definitely accomplished that, but I still feel pretty crappy about where I am.

1/12 of 2008 is already over. What will I do differently in 2008?

I need more rest. I have started off this year not being in bed before midnight, every single night which is really bad. I am always SO tired every morning and usually don't drag my lazy butt out of bed until after 7am. That is ridiculous. We should be leaving the house by 7am at the latest. Before I go to bed, I should be laying out everyone's clothes, straightening up the house a little, bathing the kids,etc...and when we get up in the morning I should be fixing the kids a nice warm breakfast and able to leave the house without being frantic about the fact that I won't make it to the office until 9:30am. I have to leave work by 5pm at the latest, so I need to be in the office by 8am. Sux.

I need to spend MUCH MORE time with the Lord. My mind just isn't clear. Everything is so muddled in my head, and sometimes there's a feeling of dread. If I would fit an hour of time in with God, I would be able to hear Him more clearly and every little thing that seems to go wrong wouldn't affect me so drastically. Not to mention the fact that I would have a much stronger relationship to God, and be much more accessible to Him in order to actually live out my true purpose in His eyes.

I should be spending more quality time with my kids. By the time we get home I'm so wiped out that I barely feel like making anything for dinner, let alone engaging them in playtime or anything related to learning. To put it plain and simple, lately I haven't have much left emotionally for my babies by the time I get home from work. This is probably related to the lack of sleep we just went over.

See how everything goes back to ONE thing? Life is like that. We read self-help books, ask questions of people who know NO more than us, keep doubting ourselves, when the real answer to our questions and the real resolution to our problems always boils down to ONE thing. Lack of relationship with God. I'm not even sure that I'm living according to His will because I hardly fellowship with Him these days. What if everything I'm doing is going completely against His plan for me? It would definitely explain why I'm just coasting along looking for some shred of happiness. Yes, 2007 was a rough year for my family, but how much longer can I use that as an excuse? It's beginning to fray my nerves somewhat, which is a bad sign. Time to get back on track!