Big Ole Grump Box

That's what I've been this week. I'm tired of working ALL of the time. I'm tired of neglecting the things that are important; putting them off until I'm done with other stuff, stuff which is not as important long-term. I can see that it's starting to take its toll. A co-worker voiced yesterday that she's been feeling really grumpy lately and needs a REAL vacation. BOY could I relate! This might be wrong, but it felt good to know that someone could relate to how I've been feeling (although she and I are pretty similar in a lot of ways anyway).

I just want to drive around at night with my husband and kids and "oooh and ahhh" at the pretty Christmas lights! I want to make Christmas cookies and chocolate cocoa with the kids. I want to lay around in my PJ's and thermal socks and watch all of the Christmas classics (Rudolph, Frosty, Charlie Brown, Wonderful Life, etc...) I want to lay on my mom's couch and hear my grandmother's old Christmas 45s on a turntable while sipping hot apple cider. In short, I just want to be happy this Christmas. Last Christmas was the first one in my entire life that I was unhappy and slightly depressed. My Grandmother's health took a turn for the worse on Christmas Day 2007. We were with her in the hospital and I could tell she was getting worse, even though my heart wouldn't accept it. She passed away suddenly 5 days later and my family was heartbroken. I had hoped this Christmas would be better, but so far I just feel burnt out.

My son's behavior has been leaving lots to be desired at school lately, also. That's really got me down more than anything, I believe. He's always been the perfect kid that everyone loves being around, but all of a sudden his daily progress reports have negative feedback on them everyday. I know that this is just a phase, but I'm not handling it well on the inside. He turns 5 on Sunday, so he's just a little one. But this time in his life is critical to who he will become as a man, and I want to be sure that everything I do as his mom pushes him in the right direction.

Next week is my last week in the office until January (and I'm only going in for 4 days). Maybe I can do some of the things I mentioned above during my two weeks off! That would be nothing short of a miracle, but as long as I'm not sitting around working constantly and feeling stressed, I'm already going in a better direction. :-)

Holiday Break

Work is somewhat dampening my feelings of rest and relaxation this week. Huge release soon, and I was up ALL night finishing up some stuff because I REFUSE to work during this break with my family. So what WILL I be doing during this glorious five-day weekend?



Cooking dinner. I LOVE Thanksgiving dinner. My husband and I anticipate this wonderful meal months in advance! My specialties are baked macaroni & cheese (no one makes it as good as I do), turkey dressing, and potato salad. Chris makes the best turkey smoked greens. We also usually prepare corn, potato souffle, cranberry sauce, and cornbread. I'm about to get started shortly.

Reading. I, like most people who are married with kids, NEVER find time to just sit down and leisurely read. For someone who loves books so much, it's a shame that I don't get this opportunity much. Maybe I'll get back into this great programming book I love or possibly even FINALLY pick back up on Book 6 of Harry Potter.

Putting up the Christmas tree. This will mark the earliest that we will have done this! Every year I dream of decorating the tree on Thanksgiving evening after dinner. Christmas has definitely come earlier this year than most others and I'm excited about that! Best time of year FOR SURE!

Resting, resting, resting. I hope that what I do more than anything else is just lay around and relax. Whenever I get a break from work, I always feel this guilt about resting. I was raised that way though...a day off meant time to get chores done and go visit people you haven't seen in a long time. There's no resting! Well my hubby and I don't share this philosophy on life, so I'm more than happy to lay around in my pj's all day!



Dinner with family. We are going to my parents' house this year, as we do every year. Last year, we actually met at a restaurant not far from the hospital my grandmother was staying in at the time. My mom was with her 24 hours a day 7 days a week, so getting mom to leave for a little while for dinner was a task. But with things turning out the way they did, this year will be really special at my parents' house. We'll be sure not to take anything or anyone for granted anymore.

Try some new hairstyles and makeup. I used to be really good at styling my hair really pretty. After becoming a mom, that just took such a low priority. If I have a little time, I may play around with it this weekend. I also have a TON of makeup that I've bought over time that's accumulating. Might play around with that too; I used to be a glamour girl, and now it's like I don't even care anymore. It happens to many of us though...I just don't want to completely neglect my looks full time...I'm already going down that path now with my lack of exercise and my bad eating habits. I don't want to become a complete hag, if I can help it.

Starting a new blog. I used to post to this blog almost every single day. That was before all of my worlds began to collide. Before my family, church family, co-workers, and friends were all accessible to my thoughts and a recount of my actions via the same medium. It's made it difficult for me to be completely transparent. There are now repercussions for being honest and true to who you are online. So I'm going to do the same thing a good friend of mine has done. I'm creating a "private" blog where I can just be Tami and talk about the things that are a deep part of me and I that I may sometimes want trusted feedback on. I'll continue to post to this blog about the cool, funny and superficial things that are current. But I'm guarding my heart and not exposing every part of me to the public anymore.

That should be enough for 5 days. Next week is going to be ridiculously busy so I better enjoy every moment I can! Have a great Thanksgiving Day and remember to show and/or tell those around you how important they are to you!

Aaliyah: "What Child Is This"

I found this video clip on Mes Deux Cents blog earlier this morning. Aaliyah sang "What Child Is This" live for the White House holiday concert during the Clinton's presidency in 1997. It was said that Bill Clinton specifically asked for her to perform, as she was his favorite artist at the time. I never saw a clip of him saying that or anything, but that's the standing rumor.

In any case, this was 10 years ago. And as most everyone has heard by now, Aaliyah died tragically 4 years later (2 weeks before 9-11) in a small plane crash in Abaco, Bahamas. Here is the video of her singing at the holiday concert.

Merry Christmas everyone!

Wishing you and yours a Merry,
Merry Christmas. I hope that you will all be at peace today and be able to put the stress of life's cares behind you as we celebrate the birth of our Saviour. Parents, hug your kids a little tighter. Kids, tell your parents how much you appreciate them and all they have tried to do for you. God Bless you all! Happy Birthday, my precious Jesus!

Georgia woman temporarily lives in Walmart

This story cracks me up; you'll just have to read it for yourself. On a side note, my home is quite chaotic these days. So much so, that living in the Walmart doesn't sound like a bad idea right about now, actually. Looks like someone been watching a little too much "Where The Heart Is". :-)

Story here

The Saturday Before Christmas

The hubby, kids and I... went out to Golden Corral for breakfast this morning. The kids were REALLY well-behaved. Much more so than normal. I want to attribute this to my consistency as of late as a firm mom. I've continued to be nurturing, but I've been adding a lot of tough love lately. You may have noticed from previous posts that it's been brought to my attention lately that I suck as a mom. Okay that's kind of harsh, but I definitely have to do a much better job of implementing a balance of love and discipline with the kids.

Also, the hubby and I... finally got all of the Christmas shopping for the kids finished. The kids are getting SO much stuff this year, that Chris and I had to bag up and ship to Goodwill almost 3/4 of the toys they already have just to make room for what we bought them today. (Never mind what they still have to open from other family members)

I haven't updated... on my grandmother in a long time. I think I mentioned in a previous post that she was finally released from the hospital and admitted to a rehabilitation facility until she was well enough to resume living with my mom. She was admitted to a geriatric hospital on Friday (yesterday) morning due to complications from severe chest congestion which appeared to be pneumonia. By yesterday evening, the doctor at the hospital said that the x-ray came back and showed no signs that my grandmother had pneumonia. This is the second time in less than two months that my grandmother has entered a hospital and been diagnosed with pneumonia only to be told hours later that she didn't have it. The whole thing is really frustrating...everytime things begin looking up for my grandmother, there's another setback to her health and progress. It almost feels like she will be dealing with this for the rest of her life. But I know my Father better than to even begin to have a lack of hope like this and to accept such negativity.

I just finished watching... "Dorothy Dandrige: An American Beauty". What a tragedy. Much is made of the impact the 1940's - 60's racist America had on Dorothy's troubled life and lack of deserved success. Even though this is very much the case, I was personally more troubled by her horrible family life. Did you know that Dorothy's mother abandoned their father, and took Dorothy and her sister Vivian with her? She began a lesbian relationship with a woman who would ultimately physically, sexually, and emotionally victimize Dorothy for all of her childhood. I often hear people remark on the fact that Dorothy never had luck in her love life as she became an adult and even throughout her entire career. Well of course she didn't! Life is hard enough when you have a stable upbringing. I can't imagine trying to make decisions and cope with adversity when your own home is essentially a prison.

This is probably TMI... (too much info), but I have had a pain in my lower abdominal area for the past 36 hours or so. I'm not sure what is contributing to this. It's not a throbbing or dull pain or anything like that. More of a feeling of pressure that ranges from minor to slightly intense. For you women who have had kids, it reminds me of the way it felt when I was pregnant and the baby was sitting on my bladder. My hubby reminded me that I spent Thursday morning doing my own version of full cardio hour via my iPod and a bunch of dance moves that I haven't tried since earlier this year when I was in perfect shape. I probably pulled an ab muscle. I must note that I called my OB/GYN doctor tonight to see if he could diagnose the problem, and he sounded very bored with me.

I guess I'll try to rest now and hopefully I'll get over this very uncomfortable abdominal issue. I've got a ton of gifs to wrap tomorrow!

I dare you not to cry

The three things on video that will always make me cry, in no particular order:

1)Children
2)Animals
3)Soldiers

Once you start combining them you're really messing me up pretty badly.

CNN.com has video here