I felt inspired to bump this post up today. It's from Feb 2007.
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Originally posted on February 20, 2007The title of this post happens to be inspired by the tenth track on the late Notorious B.I.G.'s album
"Life After Death". And, it's actually entitled "Mo Money, Mo Problems", but I have a major problem with the dismissal of proper grammar. I've always been interesting that way. But I digress...
Lately, I have found myself thinking a lot about people that I know who are wealthy. There is a definite pattern among these individuals/couples that I simply cannot get past. There appears to be a lack of a special love and happiness that I figured was standard for a married couple. In fact, I will go as far as to say that an underlying contention is present and I find this unsettling. I think to myself, "Ah, this absence of happiness must be associated with the lifestyle that is accompanied by huge incomes". There is a reason why this thought has been more prevalent in my mind recently.
Chris and I have always been that couple that loves going on long drives and remarking on how different areas that we are familiar with have changed over time. We enjoy driving through communities in East Cobb County and looking at the gargantuan homes with awe. Never once do we actually discuss living in an area such as this; it has just never come up in conversation. However, now that Chris is in law school, we both know in the back of our minds that the possibility that we will end up in one of these areas now exists. If Chris completes law school, and takes his career in a particular direction, who knows what type of lifestyle we will be able to afford! I definitely think about this from time to time.
To be honest, sometimes my mind travels down a road that leads directly to fear. Every now and then, it crosses my mind that Chris and I could become "that couple". You know, the one that used to be happy before they started making so much money. That scares me sometimes, to be completely honest. So I spent some time in prayer over this a while back. Over the course of time I began to realize something that could only have come from the blessing of God's wisdom. The sum total of your family life will not be determined by how much money you have in your bank account. Actually, what affects your life and all those in it will be based upon the importance that money (and the things that money can buy you) has over your life.
For example, there is a couple that is a part of my family and I'm privy to their financial situation. The husband and wife both make what I would consider to be somewhat comfortable incomes. If you look at the way that they live, however, you would guess that they were both pulling in six-figure salaries. Here's the thing: there is a constant battle of wills in their marriage. The wife is "always wanting more" because she is used to spending every dime that they have, and always feels that stretching their income just "one more inch" won't make a huge difference on their livelihood. Since I've known them, they've lost two homes to foreclosure, lost one of their vehicles suspiciously, and always seem to be digging themselves out from under the mound of worry and grief that is debt. Yet every time I see them, they are looking for a way to get a bigger home, or a brand new car, or something along those lines.
Then there's the example of David VanConkrite. He was a hugely successful businessman, with connections in all of the right places. He and his wife Janice owned a sprawling mansion and other homes across the country. They played tennis regularly with A-list celebrities. However, David and Janice wanted so much more out of life. They are extremely wealthy, but decided that they could only be truly happy if they used the large amount of money that they generated to reach out to others that are less fortunate. Thus, they sold their lavish homes, expensive cars, and put most of what they had into a ministry here in Atlanta known as
Blood-N-Fire ministries. They live in a comfortable home inside of the perimeter and drive cars similar to what a person with a mid-level income could afford. AND they are probably the happiest couple that you could ever have the pleasure of being around. The love they have for each other and for the ministry just bounces off of them and permeates whatever room they are in.
In a nutshell, it's not the size of your income that has the most control over your happiness. No, what matters is what you happen to deem most important in this one life we get to live here on Earth. For most of us, unfortunately, possessions are at the very top of this list, thus contributing to the attitude that no amount of money is ever good enough. This reminds me of the well-known quote from Rockefeller. Someone asked him how much money would be enough for him. His answer was, "Just a little bit more". If that's the way that people choose to live their lives, there's nothing that I can do about it, nor do I wish to. But I am challenging myself to guard my heart, mind, and family in the coming days. God-willing, my family will not become a negative statistic.
Labels: family, income, life, marriage, money
