Ash Wednesday: Season of Lent

Happy Lenten Season! I'll go ahead and catch you up on what's new with me:

Pregnancy: My due date keeps being "adjusted" during my exams with my doctor due to the size of my uterus, size of the baby, etc. Currently, I am said to be right at 16 weeks tomorrow. Thankfully, the baby appears to be healthy and normal. My general attitude and well-being is very good also. No more nausea at all, except for during the time when I brush my teeth. I still get extremely exhausted, but that's because I've been waking up like clockwork every morning at 2am. Even though I'm in the bed by 9pm at the latest, that still only leaves me with less than 6 hours of sleep which isn't good. So by 4pm, I'm SO exhausted. And of course this is the time of day that I leave work to get the kids. It sucks because it feels like the kids only see me when I'm rushing them out of the door in the mornings to get to school on time, or when I'm half-awake picking them up from school and negotiating dinner. I know that it won't always be like this though, so I won't despair.

Home LifeMy husband and I have been enjoying each other very much. He's such a joy, and I simply do not know what I'd do without that man. I love him more and more every time I look at him. He's pointed out to me recently that I've been pretty laidback during this pregnancy. It reminds him of when I was pregnant with my son. By the way, we're having another BOY!! Hubby and I are still negotiating names, but I think we settled on one the other day. I already have a vision that he has Olan's personality and Cassie's physical features. That means he will be a wonderful kid that is simply adorable...just like my first two. :-) Speaking of my first two, I wish I could express how much I love Olan and Cassie. Without them and Chris, living would just feel so pointless. Even through the scary times, I can see how the Lord has really blessed us.

Everything ElseNot a whole lot more to share at the current moment...today is the first day of the Season of Lent, and I dropped in here beginning today to be sure to kickoff blogging more often all the way through Easter. It's nice to have a record of what's going on in my life to look back on later. I did a good job over the first two years I blogged here...but life got pretty hairy for a while there, and I never recovered here.

During the Lenten season I usually think of something to give up between Ash Wednesday and Easter Sunday. And in typical Tami fashion I never stick to it. I mulled a few things over this past weekend that I could stand to give up for 7 weeks: television, secular music, random,.non work-related internet surfing, but honestly, these things are like vices that I (incorrectly) have assumed are getting me through the daily stress of life. I'm almost terrified at the thought of giving up even one of these...even temporarily.

The more I think about it, these vices are mostly just distractions. I already have more trouble than the average adult staying focused on important things. Not to mention the fact that I have an obsessive (addictive) personality. Anything that I decide I REALLY want to do, I just dive in and forget about everything else around me. Yes, even vital, important areas of my life get overlooked and disregarded. Sadly, this sometimes includes my family, and even my relationship with the Lord. I'll post more tomorrow on how I plan to get over my "addictions", if you will. It's pretty intriguing in addition to just sad the extent to which I allow myself to become obsessed with some things. Until tomorrow!!

Ash Wednesday

Today feels really good. I feel really clean and full of purpose today. I can't explain it completely, but I honestly feel as though I have been cleansed and refreshed, and prepared for a new endeavor.

The thought of what to "give up" or sacrifice during Lent kept running through my mind all day yesterday. This morning the answer was as clear as crystal. I will be giving up idle behavior. This includes the hours of time per day that I spend aimlessly surfing the net perusing for celebrity gossip, the hours per day that I spend watching reality television (that one will be REALLY tough for me), and the spontaneous actions I take when I feel that I can sneak in some previously unscheduled me time. Not only am I suffering as a result of all of this idle time, but so are those around me who depend on me.

So here's the plan: For the next 40 days I will spend the evenings with my children. Cooking dinner, playing, reading to one another, family bonding. By 7pm, I will be bathing them, and by 7:30pm they will be in the bed. I will give them about 30 minutes of playtime before lights out. Successfully implementing this is going to be drama in the beginning. They DO NOT listen to me at all when I tell them to go to bed. I mean, they will lie down and close their eyes while I'm standing there, but as soon as I close the door, they are back to playing. Lately, they've been going to bed around 12 midnight!! They are up at 6:30am, and they are only little tykes who need lots of rest, so this just can't be good long-term. This will not be easy, and will require some real stamina on my part. My kids are worth it, though. I will also be spending this extra time cleaning up after everyone once the kids are in bed. If I do this daily, it should only take a half-hour tops. Also, I will be spending a minimum of 1 hour in daily prayer and meditation. I am really looking forward to this. Life feels so much more worth living when you are closely connected with the Heavenly Jehovah through the Holy Spirit. No other way to explain it other than that.

My hope is that by the time we're about halfway to Easter Sunday, this new behavior will become a normal habit for me and not something I have to remind myself to do everyday. We shall soon see!